- Wednesday, January 6, 2010
- J.C. Colón
Every year, right around the end somewhere, people decide how they want to start the new year. Many of them decide to eat healthier, often resolving to avoid red meat. This is good news for cows. As you may know, they have been slaughtered in increasing numbers ever since the inception of the Ambassador 4x4 Club, whose sole purpose is to shove as much beef as possible down our mouths.
Our (collective) new year's resolution was to keep on keep keeping on. And so we did.
The first day back in the office we found ourselves hooting and hollering like very masculine school girls. Who better to hoot and holler at than the person responsible for giving us reason to hoot and holler in the first place? For you see, it was on this glorious day we celebrated JC's birthday.
Let me give you the briefest possible history of JC's involvement with the Ambassador 4x4 Club: It was originally his idea.
All of the joy, celebration, and medical attention we've received as a result of this exclusive club that doesn't allow women in is thanks to this man. This man, who, until this very day, had absolutely no idea of the evil he had unleashed on our digestive systems.
Now he knows.
When asked if he would do it all over again he replied: "I'm sorry, what was that? I didn't hear the question." An answer more telling than any real answer could ever be.
Ambassador 4x4 Club - Current Members:
Robert Jacobsen - Deposed Dictator (his burger was protein style)
Jim Sanders - President Elect (added animal style fries)
Bill Reitler – Defense Secretary
Kiyong Kim – Chief Diplomat of International Relations
JC - Founder